LOVING IS FORGIVING and LETTING GO IS MOVING ON :)

         At first I thought that falling in love is always magical just like a fairy tale, as if love will last forever and that love will never die. I idealistically believed that somehow it is meant to be and we are destined to live happily ever after. But now I realized that I was wrong. Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It is a choice.

          I thought that all I need is one person who cares and will fight for me. Just like any other girl, all I want then is for him to fight for me and for our love. I just want him to make me believe that he want this relationship more than I do. But unfortunately that one person I thought doesn’t fight for me. He just left me hanging without even telling me why. He just took me for granted. All our sacrifices were gone, memories were vanished, and promises were buried. Laughter turned into tears, red turned into black.

          I came to the point that I hate that feeling when I’m trying my hardest to fake a smile and not to cry in front of someone, but as soon as they ask me “Are you OK?” I just lose it. I hate that moment when I have to beg myself to stop crying and be strong. Damn! Not just because I am strong enough to handle pain, that doesn’t mean that I deserve it.

          Sometimes, the only reason why I won’t let go of what’s making me sad is because it’s the same and the only thing that made me happy. I told myself not to be afraid of losing someone who doesn’t feel lucky to have me. Then, I realized it’s time for me to love life and to love myself. It’s hard for me to let go. I want to move on and it’s not easy to forget but God knows how much I’m trying to do so. Yes it hurts, but it’s OK because I know that in God’s time I will move forward. I know that God has a plan. So I will trust him.

          I forgive a lot, I forgive him but I never forget what’s said and done. One thing is for sure, I will never forget what it taught me. . But then again, I’m thankful I met him, because I learned how to love unconditionally. We met for a reason; either he’s a blessing or a lesson. The thing is I learned about life: “It goes on”. It’s OVER because nothing is FOREVER .

          All I want now is to live my life without stress and worries. I just want to be happy. And I think it’s time for me to be happy again. I will continue to smile no matter how hurt I am. Good thing I’m surrounded by angels, and I call them my friends.

****I know that some won’t appreciate what I’m saying or doing but as long as I can speak honestly from my heart I’ll be fine. Well anyway, this is not a perfect life but I dare to live it by being real.

ALYSSA MARIE
01.03.2014

Remembering My Good Friends :)

In just a couple of years people change, but the value of friendship we get to keep despite countless days and weeks that passed MARKED CONSTANT BY TIME. 

The Priceless Reward

I never thought that I will fall in love with teaching. Honestly, at first I did not like teaching that much. It seemed that the task was too much for me. I was overwhelmed by the pressure of the responsibility given to me. For the reason that, grade one students are like pots filled with soil and as their teacher I should be the one to plant the seed for them -- seeds which will grow and shape their personality.  As a teacher, I feel that it is my duty to “connect” with my students. I have to discover connections between the students and the learning experience they need to gain.

Through the feedback from my pupils and some of their parents, I realized that I did my part as a teacher. I have not just taught them, but indeed I have touched and inspired their lives.

Look at their playful smiles.

 

The smiles of my pupils warmed my heart. I began to enjoy every single day I spent with them. I am very proud that I am the one who taught them how to sing, count, write and read. Just simply, hearing their little voices as they read a short story really filled my heart with great happiness. It is my fondest hope that I have found a calling heartwarming. The feeling was PRICELESS!

Paradigm Shift

They say that “Grade One teachers are the best teachers.”, but never in my dreams to be one of them since I am a graduate of Bachelor of Secondary Education. 

It’s a time-consuming story on how I cross the verge of being an Elementary School teacher (GRADE ONE TEACHER to be specific.) To make the story short, I was assigned to handle grade one class in my alma mater, and I accepted the offer.

When I entered my first class I felt uneasy, my heart beat fast as if it were my first time to enter a classroom as a teacher. Unlike before, this time I am no longer a high school teacher, I now belong to the faculty of an Elementary School as a Grade One Teacher. The feeling was strange and a lot of questions were bothering my conscious mind. How am I going to deal those little children? Will I be an effective grade one teacher? Will I be good enough to be deemed as “one of the best teachers”? (as they say that “Grade One teachers are the best teachers.”)

As time went by, each question was answered. “Experience is indeed the best teacher.” Training done on the job is undoubtedly cheaper, quicker, and of much higher quality than training done in school setting. Each day that passed by contribute to the development of my being as a teacher.

Every time I entered my classroom, the same and familiar scene is what I observed. But I can proudly say that every inattentive student, every surprising question being thrown by the curious student, every messy desk and every earsplitting classroom situation give meanings to my profession. Handling such kind of classroom atmosphere is what I will be constantly working on as I develop professionally. Trying to facilitate student and giving them classroom they feel comfortable is something I will work hard in accomplishing.

I know that I still have a lot to discover about myself, but being a grade one teacher has opened a window and allowed me to see what kind of teacher I can be. As I continue my journey as a teacher, I will have the opportunity to make difference to young individuals.

"In their innocence, very young children know themselves to be light and love. If we will allow them, they can teach us to see ourselves the same way." --Michael Jackson

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Today is my 1st anniversary as a GRADE ONE TEACHER and I'm loving it! :)

Poetry and Me

Poetry for I grab my pen.
Thoughts for I hold on it.
Inscribe on a paper
all that I envision.
Writing out what I dared to believe
and the immeasurable ideas beyond reason.
Thus, vision of things is what I think of.


I have whispered my words
in hearty sense that sends a pleasing verse.
Poetry from my bizarre sanity
and this rhyme that sounds like a chime
may be of worthy.
The message comes out
and reflections upon it.


Though imagination cannot freely fly,
see it hovering and hear it singing.
Stop and view, yet life is painful
mind’s eye can make it wonderful.
I must not forget
that these lines are done
not from a senseless trance thing.


I am not a famous poet
nor may write with lovely sayings.
But I would like to pass the words I have written
and show to the world its meaning.
Many years after, soul of poet lifeless and gone
I may be neither besieged nor dismayed.
For in poetry…I found myself clearly.

A Hail to Rizal

A man who has no freedom
to fight for his own,
but still combat for the
welfare of his nation.
You think not for yourself
but for the glory of your land.

You are a genius
with your notable words.
Through your burning pen:
the most influential weapon
you wrote and exposed
the reality behind other’s faint.

You are the fearless
of your generation.
You are indeed venerable
for your laudable deeds.
You are purely the best
when you proved what bravery is.

We know it’s neither painless
nor overwhelming on your part.
You are beloved,
you are great
we deemed you as one.
As your name will be immortally reside.

 

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I wrote this as a requirement for my subject Life and Works of Rizal.

Warrior’s Last Enemy

A fond faith
and glory for a land,
as for a warrior
to his kingdom.
I fear not,
for I fight for right.

It is not about fame,
nor power,
nor love,
nor leisure,
but it’s about pleasure
that no one can measure.

I vowed to save my land.
Now I am cold
and my corpse in the tomb.
Some may mourn,
for I am man
who fought for one.

Uttered Words

I thank for we had met in time,
and had loved in such no crime.
Can’t hide the feelings with this poem,
for memory wakes the thoughts that bless.

When tears fall in silence,
and run softly over my face.
When we two parted,
Half broken-hearted.

We shared the best of darks and bright,
Reminisce the smiles through the night.
When problem cheats us from afar,
we think the best on what we are.

Our vows will not be broken,
those words that softly spoken.
gently whispered in my ears,
We’ll be forever you’ve said dear.

Despite the odds and walls,
hold my hearts and soul.
Forever will let us see,
as they shall immortally be.

My Dreams Before Twenty-Fifth of Twelve

I awake from dreams of you
in a gloom sleep of a night.
When cold wind of December blew
and as I stare at a lucid starlight;
I awake from dreams of you
in a heart whose love is innocent.
When days easily passed by,
I think of you dear, when I’m alone.

I wonder why I feel this way
as I gaze on the midnight sky.
On a dark wintry bed I lie,
only God knows that my heart may never lie.
Like a precious thoughts in a dream,
how sweet this very moment of ours
Hold each heart….
the heart that shares

When your lips have spoken
the loveliest words I longed to hear.
My heart shouts and echoes render
Like a music in such splendor.
Let the love be magical, I said to my mind.
Like the sweetest dream,
I don’t want this to end
are my gentle prayers.
my pleading sigh.

 

** The title has a meaning for me and this is for my man. :)

 It has a secret code.

Hymn of Love

Faith and hope means the same thing;
like trust, in love it is a must!
For a couple to bond in just one ring;
and for memories to start and set for last.

Genuine love should let it be.
Don’t expect at its best
and allow to melt it into memory.
Cherish every moment for it may lose.

Keep in mind and place on your soul!
To love and to be loved feels so divine,
such experience of loosing control.
Learn to wait for eternal love will soon to shine.

Bamboozle

Puzzled…
I don’t know how to start,
Lots of things, running out my mind…
What to choose? What to follow?
My mind doesn’t know how…

Confused…
What is best? What is right?
How to begin? How to end?
Pressured? ... Yes I am.
Can’t imagine how I ended this one.

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** I want to write and I tried to think of something else, but my mind would not yield. (o_0)

You Stabbed Me To Death

Pain.
In silence, I grieve.
Once more, my heart bleeds,
My eyes were dull,
as tears fell down.

Broken.
Stone turns into glass,
as tough slowly crushed.
My heart is now broken
and was damage beyond repair

Screams.
Hear my screams
as I weep with river of tears.
My anger is such a deafening cry.
Liar! I don’t want to give another try!

Fade.
Red roses withered into black
like my heart as it ruined with wrath.
I’m dead! In darkness, stare
And watch me fade.